u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bring me that man meat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
