If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
