I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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