This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
