If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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