well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
