he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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