Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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