That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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