i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My cat gives me a boner
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm passing your future prison.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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