Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
