so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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