I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
