We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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