Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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