the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
