Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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