Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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