He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
