Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize