They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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