it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
