how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
