is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
