The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
