The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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