He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
