everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Everything about him screamed your future.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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