My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
