Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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