girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
