If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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