Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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