There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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