Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
