So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
