Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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