It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
