I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize