i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize