White coat. Heels.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The best revenge is premature balding
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
