imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
