I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
