im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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