I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize