Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
