Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
