i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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