tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
