oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
