The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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