Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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