Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
