You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize