why didn't you poke me back
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
even my farts smell like vagina
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Randomize
