I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Randomize