Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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