Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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