my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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