so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
