About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
