she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Boobs are out for the taking
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
