everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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