you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
