Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize