i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
