my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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