Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
