i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You dont lie about slip and slides
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
