im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
