Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
