dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
