Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
