help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
