if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
